What a crazy past few weeks! After Snow Week 2015, I was pretty certain that we had seen the end of our dramatic winter weather. Boy, was I wrong! We had yet another day off last week and now they are calling for MORE to come through this week. Sheesh! I'm not one to complain about snow days, but someday, I've got to teach these kids!
Again, besides the crazy weather, I feel like life with the Tanners has been decently uneventful. We made a quick trip to visit my grandma over the weekend, which was about as enjoyable as can be expected. She lives a very country lifestyle that is very different than ours. All I'll say is, she once shot a raccoon, cooked it, and ate it. That should tell you all you need to know about that.
I can't believe that is already March. While I feel like I have been emotionally healing well, I can't help but on occasion do the math in my head and figure out how far long I would be with Bean. The only thing that got me the other day was when someone I know shared her January ultrasound picture. Her baby is due in August, same as Bean was, so the ultrasound picture was most likely taken around the same time as ours. It brought back painful memories of seeing our too-tiny baby and feelings of bitterness for what I don't have. I don't want to take away from anyone's happiness....but it is sometimes really hard to feel joy for someone else when I feel so cheated.
During the past few weeks, I've started thinking about situations like the one above. God willing, we will be pregnant again someday and we will get to experience the joy of parenthood to full term. I will surely want to share my news with others, but will I want to be so "out there" and forward about it? Before we lost Bean, I was planning my big announcement to the world through facebook and email. Now knowing just how common miscarriage is, I'm not sure how I would want to tell my friends. There will likely be someone out there who is going through this exact situation, and I don't want to make anyone feel the way I've felt over the last 7 weeks. It's definitely a scenario I don't believe anyone thinks about until this situation actually happens to them.
**Side note: Don't complain about your baby on social media...or if you do, please complain in private to your mom. I can't stand seeing post about how babies/kids are being difficult or are staying up all night. You have no idea how much I would LOVE to have my baby keep me up all night. Just saying.
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